Well, it seems like FOR-EV-ER and I thought: as the clocks fall back, why don't WE catch up? I gave myself 1 hour this morning to blast out this post about what I've been up to since the end of summer when my whole routine turned upside-down, John had officially left, and back into the classroom I went.
That's right, folks. I'm teaching again. Who woulda thunk? Not me, that's fo' sho.
The image above was taken of me standing on the meeting area rug the day before the first day of school with the kids. // I had the interview for the position LITERALLY the morning I returned home from Awesome Ladies Live, and the next day I found out I had the job.
It all happened so fast, and I said 'yes' to the position even before I knew if I really wanted to take it or not. I cried when I got the interview, I cried on the way to the interview, and I cried upon returning home from the interview.
I know, however, that The Universe wanted me in this job...and its been a really tough two months (to the day actually), but I'm way more adjusted than I was 8-weeks ago. I'm trying to stay awake + aware as to why The Universe brought me back...why the 'new job' turned out to be the old job that didn't work...and even: can I make it work this time around? Lots of reflecting.
I'll let you in on a little secret, though: the souls below might have something to do with it. Here we are this past Wednesday for Halloween:
...and yesterday I caught the scene in The Blind Side where the ladies are at a lunch and one tells Sandra Bullock's character "Honey, you're changing that boy's life," and in reply she says, "No, he's changing mine."
It felt like a BIG HINT as to why my journey’s led me to this point. I have been wrapped up in trying to get these kids all that they need...trying to make the most out of this job I didn't want to return to...and it's taking every ounce of energy I have, but here's what...
Even though it's been stressful because I've been too busy to blog, or send out newsletters, or design and release new planner strips, or memory plan, or dance, and it feels like I have no life...the upside has been that I've also had no time for mindless scrolling or keeping tabs on everyone else's life-commercials (that's how I view social media now), and it's making me realize how enough I am without all of it. It’s changing my life.
I've been able to realize how my brain has responded to stress & overwhelm & the 'plague of productivity' my entire life, and been able to afford the right therapy to properly treat my anxiety, OCD, and perfectionism. This alone has been HUGE, and it’s been changing my life.
Not to mention this season of life finding me completely alone. Not lonely as in 'by myself' in a sad or negative way, but just on my own, in my own space, adulting. This has forced me to address my codependent tendencies as well, and what growth THAT has been! CHANGING. MY. LI….you get the point.
The thing I've been realizing is that there might not ever be a period in my life again when I will get time just for me. I'm trying to use it. I'm trying to understand NOW is not a time of lack in my life, but rather a time to get to know myself, support myself, take care of myself ...to be more ready than ever before for what's coming.
This job, these kids, this s s s p p p a a a c c c e e e has been that, I think.
We shall see.
In the meantime, note that I’ll be posting to Instagram only on occasion, and popping onto IG stories much more often whenever the feeling strikes. I’ve been most prevalent on the podcast, and you can definitely keep up with me there — in the kind of rawer, realer way I’ve been craving from other content creators. (Candid over curated has been my motto lately.)
Speaking of the podcast, season 3 is full steam ahead with its theme: WORK SMARTER, NOT HARDER! These have been our episodes so far, in case you wanted to check them out:
Thanks for popping in and being on this journey with me. Our organic connection means a lot, and if you’re still interested in the updates, I’m more than happy to spend some reflective writing time providing them. I hope they’re helpful, and I hope you’re well. xoxo